Ellie

I Will Come Back To You

Chase has completed the ear portion of his time under anesthesia without complications. Our hope is that the procedure they did will help him hear better as he has continued to show signs of losing his hearing. He is still under anesthesia right now and has been moved to MRI. As we began earlier and he walked from the waiting room into pre-op, he turned back to Bob (who was staying in the waiting room to work) and said: ” Don’t worry, Daddy! I will come back to you!” That child…
Moment by moment.

Of Tests, Hot Chocolate, and Blessings

My apologies for the recent lack of blog updates. I will get to the last few weeks another time. For now I’d like to update on this week alone.

In the morning, Chase begins the first of two full days of tests and appointments with his doctors for post-chemo evaluation. We’d greatly appreciate prayer, especially in regards to the full brain and spine MRI and the potential ear surgery which will collectively have him under anesthesia for 2-3 hours tomorrow afternoon.

We consider ourselves incredibly blessed to have made it to this point… to even be discussing a “post chemo” life… what a gift!

Right now, the snow is falling outside and because many aspects of Chase’s traumatized brain are still breathtakingly sharp, he reminded me that I promised -last year- hot chocolate and “The Polar Express” when the first snow fell. So the siblings lie snuggled on couches in the dark, gleefully starting the holiday season too early. But really? Can one ever start too early? It’s the time that we set aside to be thankful…for Jesus, for love, for life. There is no time limit on those things. And while a hot drink and Christmas movie hardly seem focused on such great themes, the very opening sounds and smells threw me back in time a year and the radiation burns and the cancerous spinal taps and the crushing knowledge that the season of 2012 might be the last.

There will never not be apprehension about all the tests and what we’ll hear on days like tomorrow, but right now, in this moment, I’m reminded that we’re incredibly blessed.

Moment by moment.

In the dark, a bald head snuggles in front of "The Polar Express" — In the dark, a bald head snuggles in front of “The Polar Express”

Come With Us: The Last Spinal Tap

I’ve written many times about what it looks like to be with Chase as he goes into surgery, and now, come with us, if you will…

The pre-op and the conversations, the moment they take him away from us, the post-op exams and the deep, deep sleep… And through it all, Chase’s incredible bravery.

Come with us for the 16th and last spinal tap*…

Moment by moment.

[music: Sleeping at Last, “Next To Me“]

*took place, Monday, October 14, 2013

The End Of A Season

Day 7 in the chemo cycle: Chase is well enough to have moments of great energy, but fragile enough to need rest and protection. He couldn’t go to church with the siblings, so, still in his pajamas, bundled in a brother’s fleece (because it reminds him of Shaun the Sheep) and an aunt’s hat, we walked a few minutes in the cool, crisp morning.

As the leaves crunched under our feet and dew glistened on the leaves, I saw again the beauty in this end of a season…