Chase – Page 27 – CHASE AWAY CANCER

Pounding on the Door

Last week, I had lunch with a former professor of mine at Moody Bible Institute, and as we ate lunch, he would introduce me to people that came by our table.

One of the people that he introduced me to was a sweet woman from Ghana named Alice.

When Alice heard about our family’s struggle with cancer, she said, “I will keep you in my prayers. We know the great Kingdom Healer!”

Then she said something that has stuck with me since then, as a great word picture of prayer:

“We’ll just keep pounding on His door!”

Everyone has been so gracious to keep our family in your prayers. Please keep pounding on His door for us.

Dinosaur Poop And Life Lessons

This morning, a couple volunteers stopped by our room to check in. One volunteer brought blocks for the bed-bound, wiggly Chase, and the other volunteer brought a chunk of poop.
Yes, it’s true! This volunteer is a retired archeologist from The Field Museum who brought a chunk of fossilized dinosaur excrement for the kids to see and touch.
As I held the brownish rock in my hands, I turned it upside down to view the smooth, polished surface of a man-made cut. Imagine my surprise at seeing what looked like a beautiful crystal inside!
Given time and refining elements, something that was complete excrement is now a thing of beauty.
Call me crazy, but I suddenly felt like I was holding cancer in my hands… This life season that feels like nothing but poop, will in time, polished by the elements and circumstances, become beautiful.
I laugh at myself gathering deep insights from waste, but I am in awe of the timely reminder over the hospital bed.
Moment by moment.

Days With No Answers

There are some days that I long for answers.

After being re-admitted to the hospital in Sunday’s early hours, Chase is driving me to that place. Why are the fevers so high when he still had white blood cells? Why is he so visibly ill when his tests are coming back negative? Why is his blood pressure so low ….does he need platelets …does he vomit even after anti-nausea drugs …why, why, why??

It’s days like today that I hear Tennyson in my head:

“Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die…”

Is that the reality? To do and die?

Even as I question, I am reminded of the verse in Jeremiah:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

If this life is full of God’s plans for me that give both a future and a hope, and I’d prefer not to face it like one of the six hundred riding silently to death, I ask myself…how should I respond to weary days with no answers?

Give thanks.

Give thanks even when it hurts. …when it aches …when there is no human reason for the pain and suffering.

“Give thanks in ALL things…” (1 Thess 5:18)

So this is my answer for today. I may not get the answers I crave for the child lying in the bed, but believing that whatever my God ordains is right and for His glory and my good can free my burdened heart for thankfulness.

Moment by moment.

Of Spinal Fluid And Really Good Days

Heart in my throat, I looked at the doctor standing masked and gowned by the foot of Chase’s hospital bed. “Have you heard anything on the spinal fluid yet?”

Slowly, she lowered her mask and I could see her huge smile…“Yes. The fluid was negative.”

In shock, I asked her if she was sure it was Chase’s fluid as Bob laughed quietly from his place across the room.

Chase’s spinal fluid–this fluid that has been positive for cancerous, atypical and abnormal cells from day one–is weird cell FREE!

There is a cautious moment to this, as it does not mean that Chase is cancer free. The true State of Chase is something that will be unknown for a while, hopefully only until his evaluation at the end of the month.

There is still a long road ahead for this little one. He’s only 14-16 weeks through a 51-54 week chemo protocol … Encouraging news to the little boy who burst into tears as he thought clear spinal fluid meant no more “fishy hospital.” (Oh, Chase…)

So, as I’ve written many times, we don’t know what’s ahead, but …
Today was a REALLY GOOD DAY.

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes. Bless The Lord, O my soul!

Moment by moment.

What’s Next?

We have had the most wonderful break over the holidays! In truth, the longest break Chase has had since being diagnosed. We’ve completed 14-16 cycles of chemo and 30 days of radiation.

So, now what …?

At the end of January, there will be an official evaluation to determine whether this treatment is working. Right now, Chase’s brain is still too swollen from radiation to be able to get a good “read” on how things look. However, we will have a small preview of the direction things are headed…

On Monday, Chase will be admitted to the hospital for three days of chemo which get started with a spinal tap and interthecal chemo (they inject it into his spine). When they inject the chemo into the spine, they also remove a small amount of his spinal fluid and test it for abnormal or cancerous cells. So, even before the big scans and tests at the end of the month, we will probably have an idea of what’s worked based on the content of the spinal fluid.

These evaluation sessions are …I can’t even think of an appropriate word to describe them… important to say the least. These are the times where we will sit down and talk through all of this working…if we will continue on with the 54 week chemo protocol, or try something else. These are the times that we will confront this ugly and stubborn cancer in the face and begin to know who is going to win. As you can imagine, these are the times we simultaneously hasten and dread with the question of which is worse – the knowing or the not knowing?

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.” Psalm 130:5

And so, we wait with hope…

Moment by moment.