The life and stories of a cancer ninja
Oh 2016…
You’ve held us high and thrown us low, but to this we cling:
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
~ Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ~
With Love
Bob, Ellie, Darcy, Aidan, Chase, and Karsten Ewoldt
During a recent event at Macy’s historic Walnut Room (which is a story for another blog entirely…), our family had the pleasure of meeting Jon Hansen, a news correspondent and host on Chicago’s WCIU.
Our children immediately fell in love with his energy and joy, and so, when Jon invited Chase and me to come to the west loop to record for his current events show, we were thrilled to join him.
It was a joy to talk about Chase’s cancer story, finding hope, amazing organizations, and other things that you hear me say all the time, but in truth, the best and funniest part – the show stealing element – was, of course, Chase himself. Keeping track of yourself in front of a television camera is one thing…keeping track of a squirrelly six-year-old who just discovered his mic is another thing entirely. π
Enjoy!
Interview link: http://www.wciu.com/videos/chi/nowchicago-chicago-charities
~MbM~
Somehow, 74 days have passed since I last wrote here…
There have been so many things I’d like to share with you, but I’ve let the words get swept into life business.Β Each weekend, I’d think “This next week, I’ll start again…” and each week would slip by while I thought of this site like a long lost friend I’ve been meaning to call.
To start with, I want to share with you how we moved out of our house for a few days to allow the Ace Hardware Foundation, Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, and Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago to move in…and remodel our family room.
Change of any kind is especially challenging for a child like Chase, but he weathered it nicely and wow, the look on his face when he saw the re-made room… WORTH IT.
We are so blessed!
Enjoy!
~MbM~
Our most humble thanks to Lou Manfredini of HouseSmarts TV, design ninja Nathan Fischer, and the Buikema’s Ace Hardware employees who put together this amazing gift.
These last few awareness days have been filled with living rather than writing as we enjoyed the weekend…started a busy week, and I prepared for a speaking engagement because some time ago, I committed to speak to a group of women about Chase, cancer, and hope.
In all honesty, by a few weeks ago, I was strongly considering a cowardly call to the womenβs ministry director with the words βI canβt. I simply canβt.β For when life comes at me like a whirlwind or a physical assault, the last thing I want to do is talk β let alone to a group of people. When the stress sits on my shoulders like a weight and the heartache of disappointment or loss squeezes tight, sometimes I can’t talk and even when I can, I gut-honestly donβt want to talk about the goodness of God when Iβm not feeling it β not because I donβt believe it to be true and poignantly real, but because Iβm just so weary. The litany in my tired brain is this:Β No more. Please, no moreβ¦ I don’t have the energy to be strong right now.
But hereβs the thingβ¦ when I am weak, HE is strong. Pretending to be anything other than the weak, hot mess I am does a great disservice to the God who made me, calls me by name, and has promised to complete the good work he started in me.
So, in faith, in the dust of my broken pieces, I took those ladies these words:
The further into this life journey I go, the more convinced I am that authenticity in our brokenness is a key component of gospel growth and gospel encouragement. For truly, we are painfully needy and will remain so until the day we see Him face to face.
That’s it. Be real in the pain.Β God I’m needy, but you aren’t. You know what I need better than I do myself. Help me to accept this truth and feel peace in it when this discouragement threatens to overwhelm.Β
And then wait… wait for Him with great hope because you never know how moving forward in obedience and faith will encourage your heart to keep going for just one more day.
Moment by moment.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.Β Each time he said,Β βMy grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.βΒ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.Β Thatβs why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.Β 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
There are few things I can imagine that are as awfully precious as raising a damaged child with extraordinary needs.
Itβs a great gift because I have the constant often-as-breath reminder that life is frail and immediate and full of unusual beauty. But it hurts like crazyΒ because itβs full of defeat, loneliness and comparison too.
Look at those other familiesβ¦ look what they do with their time, their resources, and their kids. We donβt do things like that β¦ canβt do things like that.
I wonder if they see weβre different.
I wonder if they care.
In a society full of perfect pins, pristine vistas, and filter upon filter, failure is an ever-choking tide – especially when your life paradigm is just getting everyone to the end of the day alive. A victory of epic proportions.
So what hill is worth dying on anyway?
Where do I need to go when I feel the differences in my family and myself so keenly?
Here: Christ and him crucified. Jesus loving me so much that he died to bring me hope β the real and best kind. This is my life filter β the only lens worth seeing through. Not what others think of me, but what HE thinks of me. Not how others raise their children, but what HIS GRACE in my life mirrors and shows for my own children.
So, pin that hopeΒ of love and grace in front of you, and pin yourself to it in the awful and precious alike.
Moment by moment.
September 3
Β For I decided to know nothing among you exceptΒ Jesus Christ and him crucified.Β 1 Corinthians 2:2, ESV
Β But as for me and my family, we will serve theΒ Lord. Joshua 24:15, NLT